LAUREN CAMPBELL
TUESDAY, 30TH SEPTEMBER 2008
15:24
UNTITLED

as far as i know, lil and josh's little lunch date went fabulously!! yayyyy!!!

god, uni is so boring compared to all this drama!!!!

xoxoxoxoxo

Labels: LAUREN CAMPBELL

OLIVER MOORE
TUESDAY, 30TH SEPTEMBER 2008
14:34
"NO LUCK"

I tried to ring Lilly around 10pm last night but she didn't answer. So I tried again, and she didn't answer again. I rang Camps, and I rang the flat, and no answer. So I'm guessing she doesn't want to speak to me.

I'm gutted.

Labels: OLIVER MOORE

LILLY JENSON
TUESDAY, 30TH SEPTEMBER 2008
13:23
"LILLY ON ... TRYING TO BE HAPPY"

Camps said that even after everything that happened yesterday, I couldn't break my promise and had to go for lunch with Josh. I really wanted to see him, but knew I shouldn't. But then I thought well I could always go over to his house and have lunch there. He hadn't been in touch, I think he thought it was off because of yesterday's coffee fiasco, or he could have heard about what happened last night and thought it was best to stay away.

But seems as I stood up for myself last night, I thought why not continue, and braved it over to Josh's house. I caught him just as he was leaving, and he seemed really happy to see me. We went into his for lunch, and his student house is really nice. I was soo nervous, and Josh seemed so cool about everything, which made me feel even more nervous. He made some pasta and we hung out in his room for a bit. He was wearing his new tshirt from me, it looks great on him. We had a nice chat but he didn't mention what happened between me and Summer last night, and I guessed if he had known he would have said something. So I didn't mention it.

I had a really great afternoon and I'm starting to find Josh rather cute. In a way, I'm kind of glad Summer is so up in arms about it, because there's not a single chance I'd just get with Josh to spite her, but if me and Josh did ever turn into something genuine, then it would really fuck her over, and that would make me smile.

Labels: LILLY JENSON

SUMMER FRANCIS-SMITH
TUESDAY, 30TH SEPTEMBER 2008
12:43
UNTITLED

I actually can't believe this. it's got to the point where it's almost funny. ALMOST, but not quite. So, pretty little Lilly Jenson has got a date every day with my man has she?? I think not.

She can't embarrass me like this. I won't let her.

And so here's another plan. God I'm so good at these!!!

xx

Labels: SUMMER FRANCIS-SMITH

JOSH BUTLER
TUESDAY, 30TH SEPTEMBER 2008
12:00
"LUCKY STARS..."

Okay, so I just leaving the house for the library at 11 this morning when I swung the door open and Lilly was stood there, just about to reach up for the doorbell. I did try to hide and smile on my face but I think she caught it. Anyway, after apologising for nearly knocking her flying again I asked her what she was doing here, cos I thought she wouldn't want to go for lunch today. She said [an excuse for just wanting to see me, clearly] Camps - Lauren, I'm assuming - made her keep to her promise, because the forfeit is huge is she cancelled, and she wondered if we could have lunch in my house today instead of going out somewhere.

Fine by me!

Apart from the house was a bloody tip. Honestly, I was embarrassed. Luckily my room was tidy so I took her straight up there and we chilled out for a bit and I made some pasta. She didn't eat much of it, but promised it wasn't for my cooking. It was a bit surreal hanging out just the two of us but she seemed quite comfortable and it was a really nice hour or so.

She said she's keeping to my promise of a burger tomorrow, so I'm a bit nervous for that. God, why am I falling so quickly for her? She's just so perfect. I don't know how she's feeling in all of this, all I can guess is that she's still torn up about Jamie, but I can take her out and be there for her, right? God I was so nervous today. I was like jesus i'm sat on my bed with the girl I really like, I got a bit panicky, wondering what she thought of my room and whether it was too messy or... I tried to play it cool anyway. I hope she didn't notice I was a bit nervous. We made a date to meet in town at 7.30 tomorrow evening, so hopefully it'll all go to plan. She didn't say anything about backlash from Summer, but I'm guessing she's keeping it to herself.

I hope she turns up.

Labels: JOSH BAKER

JOSH BUTLER
TUESDAY, 30TH SEPTEMBER 2008
00:02
"SO MUCH DRAMA..."

The weekend was perfect. Awesome. Loved it. Not only did I have another weekend of birthday celebrations, but I've also bagged myself a date with Lilly Jenson for each day of this week. Oh yes. Well, how did you do that, I hear you ask? I let me explain.......

Lauren's flat warming party on Saturday was great. She went to loads of effort and gathered loads of people together for it, Lilly was so surprised when she walked in with all of her shopping bags. She greeted everyone before he eyes clicked onto mine and she seemed really surprised that I was there. She came over and said hi and seemed a little shy. I apologised again for calling her so late the other night but she was fine with it. After a while the alcohol was flowing and more people arrived but Lilly was sat by herself in her room. I asked Lauren if she was all right, but Lauren said she was really down, although she knew what would cheer me up. She told me they were playing this game where Lilly had to agree to every invitation to a night out etc she was given for the next two weeks... Lauren's attempt to get her back on her feet and out there and having a good time. So I knocked on Lilly's door and she was sat on her bed with a glass of wine looking really sad. I sat with her for a bit and eventually asked her what she was doing Sunday. She said she had nothing planned for the whole week, and I said that's perfect, how would she like to come back to Cambridge with me for my little party. I promised I would bring her back in time for uni etc etc and she finally agreed. Then I asked her whether she'd come out for coffee with me on Monday. I made up a bit of an excuse about making up for the things I broke, and she agreed with me too. When I moved onto Tuesday, she got a little suspicious and asked me if Lauren had put me up to this. I shrugged and just said Lauren told me she was free all week. So she finally gave in, and I took her to my party on Sunday, and for coffee yesterday. We're supposed to be going to lunch today, but that's not quite gone to plan....

Sunday was brilliant. Lilly looked so effortlessly gorgeous like always. All the guys were there and my family and everyone had a great dinner. Mum went to a pretty big effort like always. Ollie was there too, but I think him and Lilly have fallen out. Something's definitely happened between them anyway. When everyone was out in the gardens after dinner I overheard them arguing about something that happened at the party. She seemed a little bit upset, and I asked Ollie about it too but neither of them explained what happened, so I guess it's up to them to sort it out. Anyway Lilly ended up falling asleep in my room. I didn't really know what to do to be honest so I just kinda took her shoes off and put a blanket over her. I didn't know how comfortable she'd be sleeping in my room but she seemed all right with it in the morning.

Earlier today we went for a coffee but Lilly seemed really down again. I finally got it out of her that Jamie's been giving her a bit of grief, being all nicey nicey to her parents etc and her Mum's giving her a bit of a hard time about finishing with him. But then Jamie's sending her stupid texts being all twatty and so he's only doing it to get to her. She seemed to perk up after a bit when we sat down with coffee, until one of Summer's best friends walked past and almost screeched the whole coffee shop down. We overheard her say some really cruel things to her friends about Lilly, and Lilly got really upset and wanted to leave. I offered to walk her home but she refused. She didn't even look at me, she just mumbled a thank you for coffee and left, putting on her sunglasses so she was obviously nearly crying.

So now I feel really gutted for her, and maybe this whole week of 'dates' thing wasn't a good idea. Lilly's going to get a whole load of new grief from Summer for hanging out with me, and I'm guessing she's not going to let it lie. It's gonna be going round like hotwire that we're dating/shagging/whatever, and I can deal with all of it but I don't want Lilly having to put up with any more shit, it's not fair on her.

I know this makes me all sound really Lilly obsessed but more than anything I really do care about her. I just wanna see her happy, she's a great, great girl. I'm just pissed off with everyone that won't leave her alone.

So anyway I'm gonna get some sleep but I somehow don't think we're going for lunch in the morning. And the next option is to visit the library and get some books out, so off I trot...

Labels: JOSH BAKER

THE INSIDER

Anyone else loving the stand off? I'm guessing this is proper, real, no-backing-down-from war. And I love it.

Also, can anyone see a love triangle emerging?.....

Labels: THE INSIDER

LAUREN CAMPBELL
MONDAY, 29TH SEPTEMBER 2008
23:48
UNTITLED

i cant believe it!!!!! summer bloody francis smith has just somehow got into the courtyard of our flat (shagged the security guard high possibility?????) and started yelling up to our flat, telling lil to come down and face the music, threatening her if she didnt come down and all this stuff!!! we didnt even know who it was at first, we just heard shouting so we looked out the kitchen window to see summer there, by herself, with all her posse standing on the other side of the gate!!!! she kept telling lil to come down, so in the end lil said fuck it, and went down!!! i followed her.

lilly went storming over to summer and asked her what the hell she was playing at, and summer started yelling at her saying she should be asking that question, seems as lillys stealing josh off of her! lilly said erm excuse me, josh isnt your boyfriend, its a free country, "if he asks me out on a date then im not going to consider you before going out on a date with him." i cant believe she said that!!! sooooo funny, you should have seen summers face!!!! i know she called it a date on purpose but what if she really did think it was a date?? oeee!!! anyway, back to the subject on hand....

it was soooo funny, i think summer was expecting lil to back down and start apologising or something...!!!! summer faltered for a second, double checking that josh asked lilly out.... lilly said yes... actually... we're going on a date every day this week....!!! oh god i was loving it... summer totally didnt know what to do..... then she regained her posture and started going on about josh "downgrading".... all the time lilly didnt respond she just stood there hands on hips waiting for summer to run out of steam... and eventually she did.... and then just to add insult to injury lilly shouted after her, i'll let you know how it goes!! ohhh was soo funny, summer just stormed off!!!!

lilly was really angry when we got back inside, and then she got a bit upset, but she did sooo well, im so bloody proud of her!!! we talked about it for a bit, and we came to the conclusion that summers gonna try her hardest to either disrupt their dates, or get josh back.

but we'll just wait and see!!!

Labels: LAUREN CAMPBELL

LILLY JENSON
MONDAY, 29TH SEPTEMBER 2008
22:30
"LILLY ON ................."

Summer just came to our flat. Well, tried to. She just stood in the courtyard, somehow getting into it, shouting up to our flat telling me to come down and "face her".

So I did.

Labels: LILLY JENSON

OLIVER MOORE
MONDAY, 29TH SEPTEMBER 2008
19:40
"PISSED OFF"

I'm still really pissed off with myself. I caused another argument between me and Lil last night at Josh's party by telling her to choose whether she still wants us to be friends or not. Josh came over and I left, and me and Lil haven't spoken since. I'm guessing she doesn't want us to be. I wouldn't if I was her anyway. I've been a complete fool.

She's my best friend and I don't know what I'm going to do without her. I can't lose her. I shouldn't have done what I did but I can't change that now. I need her to come up to ManchMet asap but I know she's too upset with me, and she's getting grief from her parents, Jamie and Summer about everything too so I bet she's really down. I know that Josh is trying to cheer her up by taking her out but I'm starting to feel a bit jealous about that too.

I can't live without her, but now there's no time to apologise. I should have done it when I had the chance, cos now I'm here in Manch on a busy timetable and she's in Hallam with the hectic lifestyle she leads.

I don't know what to do.

Labels: OLIVER MOORE

LILLY JENSON
MONDAY, 29TH SEPTEMBER 2008
15:49
"LILLY ON ... YOU GUESSED IT"

The worst possible thing just happened. Summer's friend Rachel just walked by whilst me and Josh were having coffee, and made a huge scene about seeing us together. She was in the middle oh "ohmigod"dding it when Josh went to stand up to stay something but I just made my excuses and left. I was so upset; we were having such a nice time, Josh was making such a big effort.

So now Summer's going to think I'm stealing her ex-boyfriend. She thinks they're still together anyway, so I'm in big trouble. Every time something goes well, something happens to break it again.

I'm so fed up.

Labels: LILLY JENSON

LILLY JENSON
MONDAY, 29TH SEPTEMBER 2008
13:10
"LILLY JENSON ON ... YEAR 3"

I'm all up for eccentric teachers, but my new journo teacher is a bit of a looney. However, she's fabulous, and all in all it's been a good morning. Not bumped into anyone, thankfully just went to class and came back home.

But now I'm popping out again for coffee with Josh... wish me luck cos I really don't know how this is going to go!

Labels: LILLY JENSON

SUMMER FRANCIS-SMITH
MONDAY, 29TH SEPTEMBER 2008
14:00
UNTITLED

Right. This is war. How dare she? HOW FUCKING DARE SHE????

Rachel spotted Josh having a fucking date with FUCKING LILLY JENSON today!!!!! Coffee!!!!! How dare she?? How dare she try and steal my man? Does she now know who I am?????? She cannot and WILL NOT do this to me!!! I am not going to let her try and get revenge, Lilly fucking Jenson are you listening?? This is just not going to happen!!! This is war!! I can't believe she would have the cheek to ask him out on a date just to spite me!! And why did he say yes??? I bet he was forced into it. I bet he was blackmailed or something, because there's no way he would downgrade from me to her!! No way!!

I hope you're listening Lilly Jenson, I am going to make your life hell from now on are you listening???

THIS IS WAR!

Labels: SUMMER FRANCIS-SMITH

LAUREN CAMPBELL
MONDAY, 29TH SEPTEMBER 2008
07:52
UNTITLED

i don't think i quite realised what happened between lil and ollie. i spoke to lil late last night, she's really upset, and he's really pissed off and went back to manchester by himself without saying goodbye to anyone!!!!

this is not good. a fall out cant happen, they're best friends!!!! hes been such an idiot!!!! can't believe he did what he did, treated my best friend like a piece of meat! im angry at him!!!! its obvious he's always had a thing for her, but he did that last week and now he looks jealous cos of josh getting closer to lil!!

everyone needs to grow up!!!

anyway, im off to enrolment/intro lectures!! fun fun!

Labels: LAUREN CAMPBELL

LILLY JENSON
MONDAY, 29TH SEPTEMBER 2008
07:14
"LJ ON ... ENJOYING HERSELF"

It's been a really nice night. I was really nervous earlier back home, wasn't sure what to wear or how the night was going to unfold or who was going to be there. And whether anyone was going to talk to me, and of course whether Josh really wanted to invite me or whether he was just taking the mick.

I ended up wearing a really simple dress with wooly tights and boots, made sure I looked nice and not too OTT, cos I knew I'd be meeting some of his family. Anyway so Josh went home early in the morning and I caught a lift with Camps and Ollie (which was a bit more than awkward). Josh's house is AMAZING. I love it! It's so much bigger than my house back home, his is seven bedrooms I think. Josh was really nice introducing me to all of his mates and his family and there were a few girls there who I got on with really well. We had a really nice dinner and had a fair bit of wine before everyone made their way out into the gardens for the rest of the night.

I ended up losing everyone [Camps and Jordon were obviously off eating face somewhere] and Ollie came over to where I was sitting on a swing. He tried to talk about what happened last week but I told him i didn't want it to ruin the night, and it turned into a bit of an argument, and I got a bit upset. I just really didn't want to talk about it right then, but Ollie said we had no choice, and that I had to decide whether we were going to stay friends, before he went back to Manchester tomorrow. I told him it wasn't fair for him to force that decision on me, when it was him who ruined everything and was a complete awful bastard to me. So then we started arguing again before I saw Josh coming over, and Ollie stormed off. Josh didn't pry he just wanted to know if I was all right, which was really nice of him. I just said we weren't doing too well lately, and Josh said he thinks Ollie's always had a little crush on me. We kind of looked at each other for a while as if to say if anything happens between us it's probably going to hurt him. But nothing is going to happen.

Josh pushed me on the swing for a bit and he made me laugh, we had a really really great night, and I got him a birthday card and Superdry polo shirt, thought it was his kind of thing. He really liked it, wouldn't stop going on about it, which made me smile. We went up to his room to hang out for a bit away from Ollie and everyone, and I must have fallen asleep cos I woke up a few hours later and was on Josh's bed with a blanket over me. He was asleep propped up in a chair in the corner of the room, looking a bit uncomfortable but I didn't want to wake him. His covers smelt all manly like him and ahhh it was a lovely night. Really great.

I'm finally back home and off to start lectures, a bit apprehensive of bumping into anyone but I'm sure I'll be fine!

Labels: LILLY JENSON

OLIVER MOORE
SUNDAY, 28TH SEPTEMBER 2008
17:00
"PARTY..."

this is going to be fun.........................

Labels: OLIVER MOORE

LAUREN CAMPBELL
SUNDAY, 28TH SEPTEMBER 2008
16:26
UNTITLED

were just getting ready to go to cambridge, im far too excited!!! not eaten anything all day so that i can get away with eating a little bit at the party, cos lil'll notice if i dont eat anything, like she did on sat!!!! awww im soooo happy, lils got all dressed and prettied up, she looks stunning in my fave dress of hers!!! she always looks gorgeous, but im sure josh will love her!!!!!

ohhh yesss this thing with her and josh, do you think it'll be gooooood??? i think it'll be gooooooooood!!! a wholeeeeeee week of dating, yum yum yum!! he likeeeeees herrrr!

ahhh its going to be a fab night!!! with my jordon!!! love him!!!

yayness xoxoxox

Labels: LAUREN CAMPBELL

THE INSIDER:

In my eyes, Josh couldn't make it any more obvious that he fancies our Lilly. But he's acting so cool about it all to everyone. It's just a good job they can't see his blog, where he's slushier than ever. So what's going to happen now? Somehow I don't think their little perfect week of dating is quite going to go to plan... but at least he's putting a smile on our favourite girl's face.

Labels: THE INSIDER

LILLY JENSON
SUNDAY, 28TH SEPTEMBER 2008
00:10
"LILLY ON ... SURPRISES"

Okay so Camps had organised a surprise flat warming party for me tonight, which was so nice of her. I'm really happy, I haven't stopped smiling ever since I walked in and saw so many familiar, warm faces cheering back at me. I love her and my friends so much! They've gone to such a big effort, knowing I was upset, trying so hard to make me smile, and it really has. There's loads of food, and loads of drink, and loads of people!

Josh is here. And so is Ollie. Ollie followed me upstairs earlier and tried to talk to me about things but Josh appeared in the doorway asking where the loo was. I was quite pleased cos I know Camps wouldn't want me to get upset, not tonight. She knows what happened last week but had no choice to invite Ollie... we all love him to pieces and want him here anyway, but things are just a little awkward.

Camps has not only sprung this on me, but she's purposely set me up on a whole week of dates with Josh. I can't believe how sneaky she's been about this all! It was so funny. She'd obviously told him beforehand about our little silly game we play when one of us is really down. And so he came over and asked me whether I was busy on Monday. I said no and he asked if I'd like to go for coffee, to make up for the things he broke last week. I was a bit flattered at first and felt myself blushing but I agreed to his little coffee meet. Then he asked me what I was doing on Tuesday....... and I could see Camps giggling to herself in the background. And this went on and on and on... and so tomorrow I have to go down to Cambridge for Josh's family birthday party, Monday is coffee, Tuesday is lunch, Wednesday is a burger, Thursday is cinema, and Friday is dinner. Oh, and Saturday is a surprise.

And I don't know what to make of it all, so I'm going to take it how it is. This may be my drunken mind speaking, but does he feel sorry for me. Or is just doing it because he knows I have to say yes? Or is he doing it because he likes me.

Either way, I think I should rejoin my party.

Labels: LILLY JENSON

LAUREN CAMPBELL
SATURDAY, 27TH SEPTEMBER 2008
21:21
UNTITLED

ps:// [toilet break] i've made lilly agree to the game we do every time one of us is down. it's called the yes game, and you have to say yes to every invitation/date/outing you get asked on for the next two weeks!!!!!!! its so much fun, she used to do it to me all the time!!!! but im winning, you see, as i've told josh all about it, and it's all going on downstairs!!! love it!!!

xoxoxooxoxo

Labels: LAUREN CAMPBELL

SUMMER FRANCIS-SMITH
SATURDAY, 27TH SEPTEMBER 2008
20:58
UNTITLED

I'm so annoyed!!! SFS is really not happy right now!! Here I am, trying to last-minute invite everyone round for a fabulous party I've been organising all day.... all the girls are coming, Jamie is coming [I felt I had to invite him]... and here I was with a master plan, inviting all of Josh's friends to my wonderful party.... ultimate revenge.... and they're all friggin busy going to LAUREN CAMPS' PARTY! How dare she! How dare she steal all of my friends? I hate that stupid anorexic cow! I had the most perfect, perfect way of getting back at Josh for basically cheating on me with Lilly friggin Jenson, and now they're all going to her party????

And I can't even get in to crash it make it better, cos all halls have fob-key entry.

I hope Lilly keeps her head under her covers like she has done all week. Boring hussy!

Labels: SUMMER FRANCIS-SMITH

LAUREN CAMPBELL
SATURDAY, 27TH SEPTEMBER 2008
19:26
UNTITLED

argggggggggggh i'm missing jordon so much already!!!!!!! i cant stand it, i need to be with him!!!! ive felt a bit homesick and lost this week, what with jordon being in cambridge, ollie being back to manch and lil staying in for most of freshers. its been a loooooooong week!

but now its the weekend, and everyone is back, and we have a surprise homewarming party for lil to shake her out of her shell a bit! she'll be home any minute, and it's going to be fab!!!!!!!!!!!!!

xoxoxoxoxo

Labels: LAUREN CAMPBELL

JOSH BAKER
THURSDAY, 25TH SEPTEMBER 2008
23:46
"READY TO KNUCKLE DOWN"

Been to enrol for my final year of law today... scary stuff. We officially start on Monday, so we've got a few more days to enjoy ourselves before we put ourselves through hell. Had a few beers tonight, just went to the pub for a quiet drink, and bumped into Lilly and Lauren. Lauren was her usual bubbly self but Lilly was really quiet, not really joining in much and just drinking her drinks really fast. I asked her to come to the bar with me but we saw some mates there so didn't really get much time to talk. I almost put my foot in it and mentioned the party, before remembering that it was a surprise. I'm really looking forward to it, should be good. Lauren doesn't know how Lilly's going to take it though, because she's really down at the moment.

Anyway, just having a few more beers at home and ordered a chinese. I miss home but having my own freedom is so great, I love being here with all the guys. Just need to make it a bit more homely. The beer can wall is well on its way up, it should be there by the end of freshers!

Labels: JOSH BAKER

SUMMER FRANCIS-SMITH
THURSDAY, 25TH SEPTEMBER 2008
13:40
UNTITLED

Been having so much fun since Saturday!! i don't care if people hate me, the people that matter love me, and the people that are jealous... welll... sort it out!!!

And Lilly fucking Jenson, if you even think about trying to steal my boyfriend, you've got another thing coming dear girl because that, quite frankly, is just not going to happen. You see, he doesn't like hoes.

Labels: SUMMER FRANCIS-SMITH

LILLY JENSON
WEDNESDAY, 24TH SEPTEMBER 2008
13:46
"LJ ON ... ..."

Me and Ollie still haven't spoken since Saturday, and I hate it. It's all weird and horrible and shouldn't be happening, but I don't know what to do. I don't think he'll be back in Sheffield for a while because of uni, and I don't know whether that's a good or a bad thing. I just feel so gutted about it all, it was bad enough not having Ollie around when he was in Milan all summer, but at least then we were on good terms. Now I don't even know what we are.

Just feel really down today. Camps wants to go out tonight but I know Summer's going to be there and she'll try to make everything even worse than what it is already.

I can't have her adding to what she's done already. I wish it had all never happened.

Labels: LILLY JENSON

JOSH BAKER
WEDNEDAY, 24TH SEPTEMBER 2008
12:11
"ENJOY..."

Freshers week is amazing!!! I'm sure it gets better every year. Me and the guys have been out an awful lot, bar crawls, the su, town the lot. It's fantastic, and getting me in the mood for the rest of the year. It's going to be pretty much just full on madness, mixed in with trying really hard to get a degree!

I rang Lilly monday night night, at a pretty much ridiculous hour but I just wanted to make sure she was okay. There's been no more drama this week thank god, but Ollie said she's hardly ever been out. He's been really quiet too, so I dunno if they've fallen out or not.

Lauren's trying to organise a bit of a quiet and secret party on Saturday night at their flat to cheer Lilly up a bit. She's asked me to come along and to bring some of the guys so I think it'll be pretty cool. Ollie should be back for it and he'll probably come back with me on Sunday for my little family get together for my birthday.

I think I'd best go tidy things up, things are pretty messy in the house already and we've hardly been in here two weeks!

Labels: JOSH BAKER

LILLY JENSON
TUESDAY, 23RD SEPTEMBER 2008
04:30
"LILLY ON ... NICENESS"

Josh just rang me. It was a really nice surprise, to hear someone's voice who didn't want to know everything about what happened on Saturday. He spent the first five minutes apologising for it being so late, but I was up anyway, and he said he couldn't sleep either. He said he rang just to see how he was, and that he had been thinking about me. We had a lovely conversation and I really think we can be friends. I don't care about Summer, we just click really well and he's a great guy.

But I still can't get to sleep for worrying about everything.

Labels: LILLY JENSON

LAUREN CAMPBELL
TUESDAY, 23RD SEPTEMBER 2008
03:56
UNTITLED

why did we let that bitch ruin the party??? arggggh all i've heard since saturday was i can't believe summer did that, jamie obviously hates her, lillys obviously really hurt jamie, but then again poor Lilly, and ooo don't Lilly and Josh look perfect together? what a great way of getting Summer back!

argh people talk talk talk and i hate it!!! we haven't seen summer since the party, but im guessing we'll bump into her at some point during freshers.

shes such a cow! i hate her! how dare she do that to lil? pisses me off big time, argh argh cant wait to get my revenge on the stupid cow!!

xoxoxo

Labels: LAUREN CAMPBELL

OLIVER MOORE
MONDAY, 22ND SEPTEMBER 2008
10:51
"FEEL AWFUL"

I've been an absolute dickhead and I feel awful for it. I've really hurt Lil, something I never thought I'd do, and I feel like shit because of it. I did something really stupid and took advantage of her when she was really upset at Josh's party on Saturday night, and I've regretted it ever since. I treated her like a piece of meat, and I'm ashamed of myself. Now she's not talking to me, and I saw on her blog that she's weirded out by it all, and argh I don't know what to do to make it better. I don't think there is anything I can do.

She also really likes Josh, and he really likes her, which just makes me feel even more shit

Labels: OLIVER MOORE

LILLY JENSON
SUNDAY, 21ST SEPTEMBER 2008
22:08
"LJ ON ... BEING STUPID"

Okay, so now that I've finally had time to sit down and think about things, my conclusion is that I'm an absolute moron.

So let's start with Josh's party. I didn't even know he was Josh. The uber-cute guy who smacked into me in the street, his name is Josh. And it was his birthday party that we went to last night. Oh, and he's Summer FS's boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend... whatever.

And it's clearly not his fault, cos he is the sweetest, coolest, [fittest] guy I have met in a long time. After the confusion of me not realising him and Ollie knew each other, we had a bit of a chat, well, I teased him a bit about giving me his number when he has/had a girlfriend, and he really was so perfectly gorgeous. I think he could tell I was a bit nervous, but he made me smile and his Mum made me smile. I ended up sitting next to him, in Summer's place I'm guessing, and after a few attempts to kick Camps under the table she finally ate some of her food and we had a really nice meal.

I got talking to a young lad at the party a bit later on and he told me he was Josh's brother. He's sixteen and sooo sweet, I love him! We talked for ages until Josh came over and thee was a bit of flirting going on when Mikey left. He's got the most gorgeous chocolate brown eyes ever, honestly. He's really tall and broad with dark, floppy hair and a great, great smile. If I wanted to date, I would so date him. And he seemed really keen to talk to me too, even if I was Summer's enemy. He told me how they're not really together any more, but he hasn't seen her to tell her since he's been back in Sheffield. Anyway so after a while he asked me to dance, and it's weird cos with Jamie and everything, I haven't even thought about dating/being with/looking at anyone else at all, but with Josh last night, and the time I bumped into him earlier in the week, I duno it's just different. He really made me smile last night, and didn't even mention Jamie, even sticking up for me and changing the conversation when other people badgered me about it.

And anyway, he asked me to dance, and I loved it. I'm 5'10", I swear he must be about 6'2". Oh and he's got really muscly arms! My downfall. God, why am I perving over him? He's Summer's ex boyfriend. If anything happened, people would think that's why I'm with me. Argh! Why am I contemplating something happening? It's not going to.

Anyway, going on on a tangent. The worst thing happened when we were dancing. Summer decided to make her entrance. She came waltzing in. With my ex boyfriend on her arm. And snogged his face off, right there on the friggin dancefloor right next to us. I was so upset. She really fucking got one over on me there. I'm still so sad about it, I know she stoops low but... God I was gutted. I felt Josh put his arm around me but I just had to get out of there. I didn't even stop to ask how he was about it, I just had to go. A bit of carnage followed, I heard Ollie and Josh and Jordon arguing with Jamie, but I was already by myself by then. After a while I heard Josh yelling and he was taking his anger out on a tree. I felt bad for him, and he came over and sat with me for a bit, apologising. None of it was his fault though. It's not his fault he's got a skanky ex-girlfriend. It was really nice having him sit there with me for a bit, but I looked like a right mess with all my make up all over the place from crying. He walked me back to my room, and was so sweet about it, giving me a big hug.

Ollie eventually came in and he was really drunk, and quite ignorant to what had happened before. And then he tried to kiss me, and me in my emotional state did something really stupid.

Thinking about it all now, I'm stupid to get caught up in Summer's boyfriend. And I'm stupid to cross the line with Ollie. It's just all stupid altogether. I shouldn't have gone to the party. And now people are going to talk talk talk.

So I guess Summer's won.

Labels: LILLY JENSON

JOSH BAKER
SUNDAY, 21ST SEPTEMBER 2008
21:03
"WHAT A NIGHT"

It all went pretty well really, minus all the drama. Ended up having a great birthday, got my car from Mum and Dad, Mikey got me some vouchers, the guys got me enough vodka and beer to drown an elephant, also pretty cool.

I was a bit nervous about the party beforehand, hadn't heard from Summer and wondered whether she was going to make a scene. Everything was going really well, all the guys turned up and it was more or less just family and close friends for the meal. Mum had done the layouts for the tables, and it ended up that Lilly was sat next to me, in Summer's place, seems as Jordon had a place next to his girlfriend and all that. Ollie and Lauren turned up and I was a bit disappointed not to see Lilly there. Turns out Ollie knew she was going to be late but didn't want to tell me, instead wanting to see if I worked up a sweat about it.

I saw her before she saw me. She was walking down the steps down to the dining area, looking great in a long gold dress. She looked pretty uneasy and shy, and suddenly Ollie came bounding over to me and seeing what I was looking at, slapped me pretty hard on the back. Coughing fit follows, making Lilly look up, her eyes rounding as she recognised my face from the other day [also pretty cool]. Ollie introduced her to me and we had five minutes of Lilly not knowing me and Ollie were friends, and Ollie joking that he didn't know his best friend looked so good in a dress, all the while Lilly's eyes locked on mine. So when Ollie joked he would give us some "private time" together, I knew what was coming.

To be fair, she did say "happy birthday" before she said "so, you're the birthday boy... and Summer's boyfriend." her eyes were pretty questioning, silently asking why I asked for her number when I had a girlfriend. I started to explain how me and Summer weren't together any more [in my eyes] but the food started arriving so we had to get back to the table, not before Mum called me over and asked who my "beautiful friend" was. The answer was: "I'm Lilly, Josh's new friend" so she couldn't have been that bitter about the Summer thing. But she wasn't the type to milk it in either. All of a sudden Lilly and Mum were deep in conversation about... shopping. They were laughing and joking and when I was back at the table I saw them keep glancing over at me, making me blush and look down at my food, cue more laughing.

She didn't say anything about being placed next to me, instead catching up with Lauren for a bit before turning back to me reminding me about sending her flying the other day. Cue more blushing, making me feel like a right idiot. I tried to be as smooth as possible, I'm quite a confident bloke and can sort of keep it up when I'm feeling a bit soft. I think she bought it anyway.

The dinner went really well and after saying goodbye to all the people who weren't staying for the party, it was time to move rooms and the Mums were rushing around making sure presents and cakes and buffet foods were ready etc etc. I hung around with the guys for a bit but couldn't help noticing everyone swarming around Lilly and Lauren, telling them how great they looked and for a split second I wondered whether starting to like Lilly so much was a good idea, what with the whole high maintenence, big social circle thing. But I'm pretty sure she's nothing like Summer. Who still hadn't made an appearance. Didn't bump into Lilly for an hour or so later when everyone was getting pretty merry and starting to dance and mess around. She was sitting by down next to Mikey, talking to him in sign and helping him eat his food. I saw that Mum was also looking at them, and I was pretty pleased. Mikey looked so happy, laughing his head off at something she was saying. Summer never once took time out of her 'hectic schedule' to sit down and talk to my ill kid brother. She even resented him, for slowing down outings and trips yadda yadda. Anyway, so Mikey spots me and beckons me over, so I grabbed a glass of champagne and some juice and headed over, sitting down next to Lilly, before Mikey made some excuse to go over and see his friends he had brought to the party. Nicely done.

I can't remember who started the conversation, maybe me admiring her ability to sign, but soon we were laughing, even making fun of Summer at some stage. And it was all going swimmingly well until one of the guys barged into me and my champagne spilled all over Lilly's dress. I was mortified, but she wasn't too fussed, and I tried to laugh it off by saying my bill was going to be huge by the time I got to take her out. Cue a bit of a flirting, which made her smile and blush a little. She looked really gorgeous, her hair was long and wavy and she pulled off that whole effortlessly beautiful thing. I couldn't help looking at her but she did look amazing.

Everyone knows that she's Summer's rival but no one had a bad word to say about her. I'm guessing everyone was gossiping, and I've had a few messages today asking what's going on, but everyone thinks she's great. Saying that, everyone seemed to know everything about her, which made me wonder why I hadn't been keeping up for the past two years. None of Summer's friends were there to rub it in, but the name Jamie did pop up a few times and each time Lilly seemed to shy away from the topic. Which was the only thing I think that stopped me from kissing her. Whatever happened between them, she was happy to move on but still pretty sad, and it was gonna probably take her a while to get out of it.

Anyway, I did ask her to dance. And she didn't refuse. So I took her hand and we got up and danced, with her hand on my chest and mine around her back yadda yadda [calm down Josh] and it was great. And she looked great and smelled great and danced great really close to me and it was all great.

Until I saw Summer. With Jamie. Hand in hand, waltzing into the ballroom with a huge grin on her face. Wearing the dress I had bought her. I tried to divert Lilly's attention by whispering something into her ear, trying to get her to look at me, but it was too late. She watched as Summer grabbed her ex boyfriend on the dance floor and kissed him, in front of her, me, everyone. And they weren't even pulling back. Just totally went for it and I could feel myself getting angrier, and Lilly got more upset. Suddenly Summer pulled back, looked at the both of us, and said something, I don't even know what, but it was enough for me to pull a protective arm around Lilly and try to take her out of the situation, although she moved from under me and practically ran out of the hall, followed by Lauren, Ollie, and last but not least Jamie.

I stormed over to talk to Summer, but was beaten by my Mum who took her scrawny wrist and yanked her out of the room. I went straight out in the direction of the group to see Lilly walking away by herself towards the lake, Lauren pacing, and Ollie trying to stop Jamie from running after her. I grabbed the collar of his shirt and yanked him to the floor, trying not to get too angry but what was I supposed to do? He had just kissed my girlfriend when we hadn't properly broken up yet. But he had done it purposely to spite Lilly. I yelled at him but my brother came out and stopped me from doing anything stupid, pulling me away and not letting me go back. I stalked away in the direction that I saw Lilly go in, but couldn't find her anywhere. Bearing in mind I was drunk and angry, I kicked a few trees and yelled a bit out of frustration. I should have known Summer was going to do something like that, and if I had thought properly, I could have stopped her from even coming in the place. I looked up to see Lilly watching me, sat on the bank with her legs dangling over the edge. I looked at her for a second before deciding to go over, sitting next to her and noticing her furiously trying to wipe her tears away.

I didn't really know what to say apart from apologise to her, but she said it wasn't my fault. She also knew Summer was going to do something like that, and we should have known it wouldn't have been beyond her to hurt Lilly in the best way she can. "Besides," she said "she did see me dancing with her boyfriend." I corrected her, saying I was her ex boyfriend. Cos it was over from that point. We had a bit of a deep conversation about eveyrthing that happened between her and Jamie, and I felt really bad for her. I had a bit of a chat about Summer too, and how I didn't realise what had gone on between all of them. Lilly didn't look at me once because she was so upset, and I offered to walk her back to her room. When we got up there she turned to me and I felt really bad for her, I didn't really want her to stay by herself but she was sharing with Ollie and I guessed he wouldn't be too long. I offered to give her a hug and she's really small and petite, more than I thought she was. I left her and joined the guys on the grass outside for a few more beers, thankfully with no Summer in sight, and we got to bed about 5am.

Anyway, so now I really like her. Actually, I think she's amazing. And I feel bad for her, and I want to help her, but I don't know what's going to happen from now. I've turned my phone off today cos I don't wanna deal with any people who want to know the goss. But I do still have Lilly's number, and I am tempted to ring it just to see how she is.

We'll see.

Labels: JOSH BAKER

THE INSIDER

The anticipation is killing me!

Labels: THE INSIDER

LAUREN CAMPS
SATURDAY, 20TH SEPTEMBER 2008
01:06
UNTITLED

eeeeeeeeeeeeee, tomorrows the big day, not been to a party in like a month, its soooo exciting!!! got my dress hung up in my dorm room, me and lil are going out for hair and make up, ollie's coming, jordon is just far too lush, and summer's gonna go down!

eeeeeeee! xoxoxoxo

Labels: LAUREN CAMPBELL

JOSH BAKER
FRIDAY, 19TH SEPTEMBER 2008
23:28
"AN EVEN BIGGER FOOL"

I'm so good at making a fool of myself this week. Hopefully it's ended here and won't carry on for the weekend, else I'm pretty much gonna mess up by own birthday party and everyone will laugh at me... forever.

Okay I sound like a girl there. So I'd like to say it wasn't that bad, but it was pretty bad. Here's me, walking down the street back up in Sheffield, totally out in a daydream, and I smash into a girl. She was carrying a box out of her car and I sent her flying, the box she was holding fell out of her arms and smashed everything inside it and everything. I could have died, honestly. So here's me apologising profusely, then look up and find that it's bloody Lilly Jenson. Yep, Lilly Jenson. I have to shut up cos she's looking at me with her big, round blue eyes, her little angelic face lit up by the sun. So then I realise I've been staring at her with my mouth open for the past five seconds. And I know my eyes gave everything away.

I couldn't apologise enough. I tried everything - to pay for everything in the box, even to take her out for coffee but she was all pouty and upset in a really cute kind of way, and told me none of it was good enough. Then she gives me this massive smile and I realise I've been played for an absolute fool. It was a couple of photo frames that I smashed, and I managed to act quite casual and ask her for her number so I could make everything right sometime when she wasn't go busy.

And I got it. For some reason I've been thinking about her a lot over this past week, although she obviously doesn't know who I am, doesn't know I'm Summer's boyfriend, or that she's supposed to be attending my party on Saturday. I'm not sure what to do about her number, I might leave it until tomorrow to see if she turns up.

Yep, tomorrow is the big day. Mum's gonna be busy in the morning trying to set everything out at Cutler's, and I'm gonna make sure I've got a black suit and tie ready. I'm pretty much looking forward to it, feel more relaxed now Summer's not gonna be there. Should be good.

Labels: JOSH BAKER

LILLY JENSON
FRIDAY, 19TH SEPTEMBER 2008
20:27
"LILLY JENSON ON ... THE WEEKEND"

I'm finally back at Hallam, and it's fab! I love it here, it's so different from back home. I finally said goodbye to Mum, Dad and Becca, rang Corey to tell him I was off and Ollie helped me bring the rest of my things up here. The flat is small but cosy and I've spent the evening making my bedroom as homely as possible.

I'm quite nervous about this party at the weekend... so many people are going to be asking questions. I'm not sure yet if I'm going to go, but I don't want to let Camps down. I might skip the dinner and just go for the party afterwards, to avoid all the conversation. I've got my dress ready and I might go get my make up and hair done Saturday afternoon to perk myself up a bit.

Jamie keeps trying to ring me but after a while I turned my phone off, so as not to ruin my good day. Ollie's been so nice, bringing everything up here for me and staying with me for the past few days. He knows this Josh guy too so he's going to the party, which makes me feel much better knowing he'll be there with me all night. The word is that Summer's not turning up, and they're not doing too good at the moment, but I'm certain she'll be there, if only to make a scene. If she does turn up, then none of the other girls are going to be there so it's my job to keep Summer away from Camps.

Oh before I forget, some guy sent me flying today outside the flat whilst I was unpacking my stuff from the car. He wasn't looking where he was going and knocked the box right out of my hands, smashing a couple of photoframes inside. He was so so apologetic, and I was about to launch into a bit of a rant... until he looked up at me. He was possibly the most cutest guy I have ever seen in my whole entire life. I pretended to make a real fuss about my belongings, being a bit mean and teasing him. I quite enjoyed watching him stutter and blush as he first offered to replace everything in the box, and then even asked if he could buy me coffee to make up for it. I told him it wasn't good enough, until he finally caught on and started laughing, with this really cute glint in his chocolate brown eyes. So then it turned into a little bit of a flirt fest until I told him I had to get going, and he asked if he could have my number so that he could arrange to make it up to me. He wasn't sleazy at all, and was actually really shy for how handsome he was.

So I gave him my number [I know that's what you all want to hear!] and he was really cute. The only thing I didn't get was his name.

Labels: LILLY JENSON

SUMMER FRANCIS-SMITH
FRIDAY, 19TH SEPTEMBER 2008
19:20
UNTITLED

FINALLY got Daddy to take everything up to Hallam today, omgossh the house is beautiful!!! gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous!! I'm finally here for good and everything is sorted and I haven't had time to update on this stupid blog because SFS has so many more important things to do! Such as see friends, make contacts, maintain status, and ... PLAN!

Oh yes, plan!
Such a wonderful plan!

Loves it xx

Labels: SUMMER FRANCIS-SMITH

OLIVER MOORE
THURSDAY, 18TH SEPTEMBER 2008
23:32
"MATCHMAKER, I TELL THEE"

So Josh told me he fancies Lilly.

God I'm good.

Labels: OLIVER MOORE

THE INSIDER

She's back, and just how we like her! Look, if Lilly's not in love, then Lilly's not in love. Our girl deserves to be wined, dined and adored. Sorry Jamie Spencer, but you just don't cut it! However, looks like someone else just added to the long queue of guys waiting to jump in for a first date.

If only LJ was evil enough to get with Josh Baker just for revenge.
Team Lilly!

Labels: THE INSIDER

LAUREN CAMPBELL
THURSDAY, 18TH SEPTEMBER 2008
19:17
UNTITLED

ahhhhh today was SO FUNNY! i found out something really really really great. REALLY GREAT. but really secretive. well, i dont care if its that secretive or not, cos it would really fuck Summer FS off............

Josh, yes Josh Baker, Summer FS's [boyfriend] - i put that in brackets cos hes fed up with the bitch after long last --------- he has a little crush on my best friend lil!

yaaaaaay!!!! how cute!!!

and it would be the perfect 1-2! it really would!!!

just one problem....she doesnt want a boyfriend right now!

ok so it is slightly soon, and this is slightly weird of me cos im going out with his bro, but like i said yday, god he's LUSH! so cuuute! so i fancy a bit of matchmaker this saturday! oh yes!

yayyyyyy xoxoxoxoxo

Labels: LAUREN CAMPBELL

JOSH BAKER
THURSDAY, 18TH SEPTEMBER 2008
18:45
"JUST CALL ME 'IDIOT'"

Such an embarrassing day today... went shopping with Jordon for some last minute clothes for uni, and everything was going pretty good until I spotted Lilly Jenson in Topshop. I ducked out of the way [dont ask me why - it was all downhill for there - stupid decision] and Jordon asked me what I was doing. I made some excuse up about slipping over, when we hear Lauren squealing his name from across the store. She comes bounding over and Jordon's all happy and smiles... and then Lilly comes over following her and I just, I duno, she just looked so bloody gorgeous that I had to just get out of there. I looked a right mess, in scruffy jeans and old trainers and an old polo neck.

Then I heard Ollie's voice and it just all fucked up from there really, here's me hiding trying to pretend to browse at clothes and all I hear is Jord going "he's around here somewhere, i duno what he's up to" and he kept calling me unti I emerged from the clothes rack looking like a total idiot. I think Lilly was in her own world, cos by then she had wandered off to look at some of the clothes.

So luckily she didn't see me, and now she probably thinks I'm a fuckup, and because I was so stressed out with Summer I told Ollie the other night that I fancied her, without knowing that they were both friends...... so now to him and everyone else I really do look like a stupid lovestruck perve.

Labels: JOSH BAKER

LAUREN CAMPS
THURSDAY, 19TH SEPTEMBER 2008
10:48
UNTITLED

yaaaaay, me ollie and lil are going SHOPPING!!!!

xoxoxoxoxo

Labels: LAUREN CAMPBELL

LILLY JENSON
THURSDAY, 18TH SEPTEMBER 2008
10:41
"LILLY JENSON ON ... A NEW START"

So I've had a few days to myself to make decisions, reflect on things, and cope with the backlash. I've made my decisions, reflected far too much, and the backlash - oh, that's still coming in bucketloads.

But today is a new day. I'm going shopping with Ollie and Camps, and even though I look a mess, I'm determined to have a good day.I knew what I wanted to do, and why I wanted to do it, and now I have to be strong.

Oh, and I have to get Summer back. What with Chef's stint at the restaurant the other night, I'd say it's currently 1-1. I just know she's got something planned for Saturday - it doesn't take someone stupid to work that out. We just need to either make sure we're ready for it, or plan something even bigger

Labels: LILLY JENSON

JOSH BAKER
WEDNESDAY, 17TH SEPTEMBR 2008
19:03
"ALL PACKED UP"

Just got back from Sheffield, had a good day. Mum had packed quite a bit up last night and me, Dad and Jordon took it all up this afternoon. Our house is great and all the guys are pretty pleased with it. It's six bedrooms and Jordon's got his own room too ready for when he finds a job up there. I'm gonna probably stay down here for the rest of this week to say goodbye to everyone, get back up to Sheffield for the party at the weekend, then we got one free week to enjoy Freshers before we have to knuckle down and start working hard.

After we put all the boxes in the house we met up with Ollie and Lauren. She's a really nice girl, I really like her now that we've had a chance to meet properly. And I apologised, loads, and she seems okay about it. I think Jord had already told her how bad I felt and she forgave me pretty easily which was pretty nice of her. Dad treated us all to lunch before we all headed back down. Jord and Lauren are pretty cute together, I'm pretty jealous. Me and Sum have never kind of had that nice closeless, it sucks.

Lauren didn't mention Lilly once today, and I didn't really wanna ask. I guess she didn't say anything cos no-one else there knew her. I half expected her to be there cos she's moving in with Lauren and their other girl friends, but I'm guessing by her disappearance she's pretty down about everything. I did speak to Jordon about her on the way home, but made him promise not to mention it to Lauren cos I don't want them thinking on into her or anything, asking weird random questions. Anyway Jordon said Lauren has invited her on Saturday, and shew as all ready to come... but now she's not.

Labels: JOSH BAKER

SUMMER FRANCIS-SMITH
WEDNESDAY, 17TH SEPTEMBER 2008
18:21
UNTITLED

Yesterday was an absolutely NIGHTMARE. SFS is really, REALLY not happy. How dare they give me crap food at that stupid restaurant? How dare the Jenson's smile sweetly at me, being so nice and fake to me in front of my parents? ARGH I regret ever introducing my parents to hers!!! They're such good friggin friends and I hate it!

I tried to speak to them as least as possible, and Daddy picked up on it and now he's mad at me for being a "little spoilt princess, as always" why does everyone keep saying that? As always? I'm allowed to be a princess, I'm SFS for god's sake!!

I hardly ate any of my food. That Camps is so friggin skinny now, I need to be skinnier! Anyway, so Daddy refused to take my things up to Sheffield today until I stop being such a princess as always, and so everyone else has had a fun day in their brand new flats and houses, whilst I've been sat here only being able to phone people to find the latest.

The latest, however, is not something we can ignore! Lilly friggin Jenson never went up to Hallam today to unpack her things! Aww, bless, poor Lilly, all heartbroken! Er, hello? She was the one who split up with Jamie, for god's sake! She should stop snivelling under her duvet feeling sorry for herself and start thinking about the people she's hurt!

The girls spotted Camps along with that really scruffy cute guy, Ollie his name is, unpacking her and Lil's things into a Moors Properties student flat this arvo. Ew. I can't believe they're moving back into student accommodation! Are their Daddies not rich enough to keep them in their own houses this year? Our Daddies aren't even making us stay in the one we had last year, they've all put 1/5 into a brand new spanking house for our last year!! So excited!!

I haven't heard from Josh today, I'm guessing he's mad with me, I don't know why.... revenge is sweet! And it's going to be even sweeter come Saturday!

Labels: SUMMER FRANCIS-SMITH

LAUREN CAMPBELL
WEDNESDAY, 17TH SEPTEMBER 2008
16:12
UNTITLED

had such a good day! ahh god, i really do think im in love! jordon's so nice and ahhh, i hope he really likes me too! he says he does, but hes sooo much older than me, and hes so gorgeous, and im not, but maybe he likes fat people? hes hoping to move up to sheffield soon ahhh then we can more or less live together and see each other all of the time and ahhh! love love LOVE!

met up with jordon's brother josh today, he seems really nice! god he's even more lush than his brother! dont tell anyone i said that though! god i wish i could get him and lilly together or something, she would love that! i know shes not thinknig about that right now, but i was sat there thinking ahhh you would be the perfect match for my best friend! hes really tall and broad, and muscly from playing loads of rugby like jord, and hes got dark, floppy hair and dark eyes and ahhh lil would love him!!!!

anyway, so the day was really nice, loooved catching up with Ollie, god he's so tanned!!!!! he looks great. now we're back at lil's house but she's still asleep, she looks like she hasn't moved since we left her at 10am this morning! she was crying loads last night so im guessing shes exhausted! her room looks so bare without all of her things in it! all thats left are dresses, make up etc etc etc and her laptop! i really hope she can come to this party on saturday, it looks like ollie's coming too, and i think it'll be a really nice night, but if lil wants me to stay home with her i will, cos that's what best friends do!

Labels: LAUREN CAMPBELL

THE INSIDER : REWIND

OLIVER MOORE
TUESDAY, 16TH SEPTEMBER 2008
14:57
"DRAMA DRAMA"

I'm seeing my mate Josh for a bit tonight, he's going to break up with his girlfriend or something. Which is great, cos I hate the stupid girl. She used to be best mates with Lil and Camps until she fucked them around, and she's kicked the dirt back up now that they're all going back to uni together. I can't be doing with it, i'm guessing Josh can't too that's why he's breaking up with her. I did warn him eight months ago what she was like but he insisted they were just casually dating. The problem is that no-one can casually date Summer Francis-Smith. She drags them in and stamps all over them and for some reason they're still willing to do everything she says.

It's weird the way everyone's breaking up before uni. Lil breaking up with Josh is not proving to be easy for her at all. It was supposed to be their anniversary today and what with everything she forgot all about it, so she's pretty upset. Her Dad's being really nice about it but he's mum's kicking up a big fuss about social circles etc etc. She's pretty fickle about stuff like that. I'm gonna head up there tomorrow morning anyway and move some stuff for her, I don't think she's gonna come with me.

I've always fancied Lil and Josh to get together to be honest. I love Lil to death, she's been my best mate for twelve years but that Jamie was never good for her. He's a sound enough lad, but he bums off his rich parents and doesn't really have an aim in life. Lil's got a steady head on her shoulders, she's clever and kind and completely gorgeous and I just reckon she needs to be with someone more on her wavelength, and someone who's gonna make her smile. Josh is gonna be a lawyer for christ's sake, and he's the soundest guy I've ever met. He'll no doubt make her smile too. But they've never met each other, I don't think one of them knows that I know the other, but with a bit of my magic something could come out of this! We'll see, I'm pretty sure Lil's not up to my matchmaking ways just yet.

I feel really bad for her, she seems really cut up and I'm guessing Summer's not making anything much easier for her. It's probably already going around like hotfire, and Summer's going to use it to her advantage. Okay so maybe Lil's stunning and popular and her parent's are rich, she's not actually that high maintenence, more effortlessly flawless. It's not her fault that so many people are jealous of her.

Look at me getting involved in all of this bitching. Such a girl.

Labels: OLIVER MOORE, THE INSIDER

THE INSIDER : REWIND

OLIVER MOORE
MONDAY, 15TH SEPTEMBER 2008
03:35
"IM BACK"

At long last! Milan has been absolutely IMMENSE. I loved every second of it, wish I was back there in a way, but then again can't wait to get back to MMU next week. I can't even begin to describe all the stuff I've been doing, it's just all been great. The first month was full of sightseeing and bumming around and hanging out with my old Italian flatmates from uni, but in the second month I really had to buckle down, try grab some money from somewhere and work hard. Couldn't have asked for any other way to end the summer though.

And now summer's officially over, gotta get back to reality. I've been catching up with all the guys today, although I haven't been able to get over to see Lil. I rang her as soon as I got to the airport and she's having a really hard time with Jamie. I think they're gonna break up and she's really upset about it, so I'm gonna go over in the week and see if she needs any help taking her stuff up to Sheffield. I've missed her like crazy and if she's not moving up to Hallam til next week then I might stay with her and Camps for a few days and cheer her up a bit. Saying that though, apparently Camps has got a new boyfriend and she's totally smitten with him, so she's trying to divide her time with looking after Lil and seeing her boyfriend before she moves back to uni, which is fair enough.

Anyway, gotta go and check on the Milan polaroids developing upstairs.

Labels: OLIVER MOORE, THE INSIDER

THE INSIDER

As if there's not enough people adding to the drama of the Hallam Brats, along comes another dishy member of Camp Lilly to liven things up even further. Let me introduce to you Oliver Moore, Lilly's best friend of 12 years. He's laid-back, he's loyal, and he's LUSH.

He usually stays out of the drama, and with his love of climbing (yes, climbing) he's actually quite boring, but with things hotting up it looks as though he's going to carry on his big-brother role and watch out for our Lil through her lows.

Although originally setting up his blog on Monday to let the world know about his recent trip to Milan, there's a funny feeling in me that he's going to be letting a lot slip about the wonderful world of Lilly Jenson..............

Labels: THE INSIDER

LAUREN CAMPBELL
WEDNESDAY, 17TH SEPTEMBER 2008
01:29
UNTITLED

ohmigod!!!! lilly's parents just called to say theyre staying at the restaurant....... and...... summer came into the restaurant tonight!!! with her family!!!! and she looked shifty and scared all night!!! i would have loved to have been there!!! anyway, lil's mum said on the phone that she was all dressed up and refused to eat much (starving herself to try and get the thinnest before hallam... we all do it!) and the head chef saw her, and served her really crap food but she didn't dare complain in front of her parents! i knew she didnt have any guts when it really came to it!

ahhh i would have so loved to have been there, i bet she was expecting lilly to come in any second! the funny thing is that summer hasnt told her parents anything about the fall out, so they think we're all still best friends! it would have been soooo funny to see summer all stuttery and blushing when lilly ignored her! ahh could have been the perfect score to pull it back to 1-1!

Labels: LAUREN CAMPBELL

JOSH BAKER
TUESDAY, 16TH SEPTEMBER 2008
23:37
"FUCKED OFF"

Okay so Summer wasn't there. And her housekeeper told me she knew she was going into Leicester and staying over for her mum's birthday. So she told me to drive the hour down there, knowing that she wasn't going to be there.

She's clearly pissed off that I cancelled on her last night, but this was just her being horrible. There was no need to do it, she just wanted to piss me off. She knew I had to rush to get my stuff packed for Hallam cos I was coming down here. And so I got really angry, and I never get angry, which pissed me off even more. Ollie met me straight away at the pub and we had a few beers, in between me ranting and raving. I feel quite sorry for the poor bloke. We came home and played some ball in his fields and I'm just checking up on here whilst he helps his Mum out.

I've tried calling Summer a million times but she's not answering cos she's out for her precious meal, so I left her a voicemail telling her how I feel about things. I feel like going back over in the morning but I don't want to make a scene in front of her parents. I've just got a funny feeling that she's gonna turn up on Saturday and there's gonna be some kind of drama. My parents have worked really hard for this party and if she ruins it I'm gonna be really angry. But she's so unpredictable, I guess we won't know until we're there. I'm looking forward to it, and I'm hoping everyone's gonna turn up.

As for now, I think we're gonna go play some more ball, take my mind off things a bit.

Labels: JOSH BAKER

LAUREN CAMPBELL
TUESDAY, 16TH SEPTEMBER 2008
15:52
UNTITLED

spending all day with lil again today, making sure she's ok! she's asleep atm! jamie keeps ringing her, i turned her phone off when she was asleep, so he would stop bugging her. i feel so bad for her, her mums really up in arms about everything, and with everything else she's gotta deal with i feel so bad for her! i haven't told lil i know yet but one of our girls Skye told me that Summer already knows about it, and she's being a bitch about it! which is none less than expected really, but why does she have to be such a dog! i hoped she would leave it all until we got to hallam, and let everyone have a nice end to their summer, but obv not! its gonna be hell, im dreading it.

and im dreading going on saturday too! i dont think lils gonna come now, shes not really up to it! apparently summers not going, and lil doesnt think jamies invited, but they could both still turn up and that would be bad! so i dunno what im gonna do without my best friend there! what if jordon leaves me by myself and goes off with some hot girl? we dont even really know josh, and its his birthday! which is the way it always goes really. i havent met him properly yet since that thing the other night, and im a bit worried cos he clearly thinks im a loony!

its going around that summer and josh arent doing too well at the minute, apparently hes fed up with her! im surprised its taken him all summer to figure this out! apparently hes a nice guy, so whats he doing with her???

im really happy with jordon! god im in love! i love it! love him! spending the last part of the weekend with him before we go back to hallam for good. im gonna miss him like crazy!

talk about missing someone like crazy... OLLIE'S HOME!!! it even brought a smile to lilly's face when i told her... shes so happy to have him back! hes lils best friend, theyve been best friends for yeaaaaaaaaaaars! he moved to cambridge a year or so ago and hes been in milan for the past couple of months! anyway hes finally home and hes coming over tomorrow yippeee!!! were gonna try persuade lil to come up to hallam with a few of her things, if not then me and ollie will go, then come back down and i think ollies gonna stay over for a few days to cheer her up, and let me spend some time with jordon!

anyway, lils stirring so i gotta go! make a milkshake for her or something!

Labels: LAUREN CAMPBELL

SUMMER FRANCIS-SMITH
TUESDAY, 16TH SEPTEMBER 2008
15:44
UNTITLED

Summer Francis Smith loves playing people at their own game.

Labels: SUMMER FRANCIS-SMITH

JOSH BAKER
TUESDAY, 16TH SEPTEMBER 2008
14:29
"BRACE YOURSELF"

Just got through to Summer, and we've agreed that I'm gonna go down there tonight to talk. I'm so busy with packing everything up to move up to Sheffield tomorow, but might as well get it out of the way before it turns messy when we're all up there. I'm a bit worried and how she's gonna react and what she's gonna say but I'm sure I can deal with it, and I guess I can give myself forty-five minutes on the way down there to brace myself.

I'm gonna head out just after seven and get there for eight. I was guessing Sum won't let me stay over after we have our 'talk', so I've planned to meet up with my old mate in for a few beers and a catch up and I'll kip over there and drive back in the morning ready to go straight to Sheffield. He's just come back from two months in Milan so it'll be good to see him. He's going up to Hallam tomorrow as well, his best friend goes there or something, and she's having a bit of a bad time lately so he's going via Leicester to pick some of her stuff up and take it to her flat for her.

I should have spent these sleepless nights packing all of my life up, instead of messing about cos pretty much nothing is packed, and Dad wants to leave at noon tomorrow. I could do without going all the way over to Summer tonight, but I got myself into this and now I gotta get myself out.

Labels: JOSH BAKER

JOSH BAKER
TUESDAY, 16TH SEPTEMBER 2008
03:29
"ADDING FUEL TO THE FIRE"

I finally get it. I didn't know there was such a war raging, but I finally get it. Jordon filled me in on the way back from rugby today, and now it all kinda makes sense. Summer and Jord's new girlfriend - who I can finally call Lauren now that I know her name - used to be best mates, along with the Lilly girl I was talking about the other day. They all lived together at Hallam in the first year, and fell out at the beginning of summer. Summer turned into a bit of a bully to Lauren about her weight, which reverted into her becoming the super-skinny girl she is now. Lauren's really afraid of her, and all summer there's apparently been some kind of power stuggle going on between Camp Summer and Camp Lauren.

This all explains the little situation we all found ourselves in down at home the other day. So I've decided that's it. The next time I see Summer, I'm going to break up with her. I can hack her gossiping and bitching and whatever she does from day to day, but I can't be with someone who's so intent on ruining someone else's life. Lauren is now anorexic - she's like more or less six and a half stone, and about five foot nine. That's not cool. No wonder I thought she was loopy with the amount of shit Summer's put her through.

I'm really angry and Summer's been calling all day, although she didn't apologise once. She wanted me to take her out tonight but luckily Dad had set up a meeting at the car dealership, which was pretty cool.

Anyway, so the next time Summer called she sounded all excited and I seriously thought for a second that she was about to be nice. But then she started ranting on about how Lilly's broken up with her boyfriend because she's not into him any more, and he's heartbroken and she doesn't care and she's really heartless yadda yadda. I don't get how much of it is true but if she has broken up then I guess she's pretty upset about it, so I was mad at Summer too for going on about it. That Lilly seems like such a nice girl, I'm sure she's beating herself up about it, especially as Summer said they had been together for a long time.

So I'm guessing this power struggle has reached new heights with Summer trying to get one over on everyone else just like normal. Why am I only just seeing how much of a bitch she's being? I really feel sorry for some of the people she's hurt.

Jordon and Lauren seem to be getting on really well, I'm pretty pleased for him. She seems like a really nice girl but I still haven't had the chance to apologise to her about the other night. Hopefully she'll turn up to the party and I'll get the chance then. I realised the other day that she might actually bring Lilly as her +1, but if this break up is true then I'm guessing she's not going to come. Which is a bit of a shame really, cos I'd really like to talk to her.

Labels: JOSH BAKER

THE INSIDER

Gotta love Camps! She claims she doesn't want to give anything away, before proceeding to tell all! Genius!

So our suspicions have been confirmed, and LJ has finally put a halt to her perfect relationship with Jamie Spencer.

What does this mean for everyone? Is she going to move up back into Hallam and pretend that everything's normal? Or is she going to keep low to try and get over the heartbreak? There could be a whole shift in the way that everything's run from now on.

Summer FS could actually rule all.
I just hope Lilly and her team have enough strength in them to stop her before she gets too out of hand.

Labels: THE INSIDER

LAUREN CAMPBELL
TUESDAY, 16TH SEPTEMBER 2008
00:59
UNTITLED

i've spent all day with LJ today. don't really want to give anything away on here because there's prying eyes for sure, but things are not good. at all! lilly is so upset and i don't know what to do about it! i'm trying to help her out as much as possible, and i know she knows shes doing the right thing, its just so hard for her!

shes not told anyone yet, i dont know if jamie has! we're gonna try keep it schtum for a while at least until uni settles down! sfs will have a field day, although jordon let me in on a little secret today that josh isnt too happy with her lately! yay! is summer francis-smith finally going to put in her place?!!!!

why is everyone breaking up? am i the only non-singleton out there?

xoxoxoxoxo

Labels: LAUREN CAMPBELL

THE INSIDER

No update from LJ today... has she finally buckled from all of the pressure? Her lack of blogging could surely only mean one thing....

Lilly Jenson is now a singleton! [And she's pretty cut up about it...]

Could this be true?

Labels: THE INSIDER

SUMMER FRANCIS-SMITH
MONDAY, 15TH SEPTEMBER 2008
23:32
UNTITLED

When is Summer ever going to have the chance to write a happy blog? I am so not happy at the moment. Josh is so not being normal with me and I hate it. Why does he think he can get one over on me? He's still my boyfriend, and therefore he should act like my boyfriend. He should have taken me to the cinema tonight, but he cancelled. Some excuse about his dad surprising him with a trip to a private showroom for his new car.

Anyway, that's not even the main problem. Josh can be sorted out with the wave of a hand.

The main problem, is Mum's birthday tomorrow. We have the money and the power to go anywhere, anywhere in the whole city, well the whole world, and she wants to go to friggin The Lady Jenson. There is no way, on this entire planet, that I am going there tomorrow.

No way.

Why won't they listen to me? They know how it stands between me and LJ. But Daddy is such good friends with hers yadda yadda and it's the best place for food yadda yadda I don't care I'm not going. Daddy tried to bribe me with this http://www.warehouse.co.uk/fcp/product/-/DRESSES/TEAL-DOUBLE-DRAPE-COWL-NECK-DR/8188 silk dress, although looking how cheap it is, he didn't try very hard.There is just absolutely no way I am stepping foot in there.

Jenson is either going to be working there (yes, she works, ew) or eating there, and even though my little secret on her is the only thing keeping me from going totally insane, I really don't want to see her until Saturday.

And so we're going to eat somewhere else.

Labels: SUMMER FRANCIS-SMITH

THE INSIDER

I never knew Josh Baker had it in him! He's got one of those incredibly dishy faces that make him look ultra-soft, but he's a tough cookie really! That's what we like to see, the threat of Summer being put in her place.

But who's going to win the power struggle?

Labels: THE INSIDER

JOSH BAKER
MONDAY, 15TH SEPTEMBER 2008
02:07
"YOU WOULD HATE TO BE ME RIGHT NOW"

Got a huge rugby match tomorrow and i can't sleep, which means i'm gonna play shit and get even more stressed out.

I rang Summer this afternoon and told her we need to talk. I mean, I really do like her, well I used to, but lately things just haven't been right and if I'm gonna get stressed out about it then maybe it's not worth it. I'm going into my third year at uni and I can't have any added pressure, including Summer. My Dad clocked on that something was wrong this morning and we kinda had a talk about things... I mean he's never liked Sum but he knows I've got a steady head on my shoulders, although he does think that I've let her get a bit too carried away with controlling me.

I guess he's right. All she does lately is nag at me, yell at me and order me about and refuse to do things, and then as soon as I get tough with her she cries or pouts or turns on her charms and I end up falling for it like a sucker and I guess I can't do that any more. I'm a pretty tough guy and I don't like being under the thumb, I like things to be equal and I know that with me and Summer it's not.

But I know she's not gonna give us up without a fight. And I guess I don't wanna just give up either, but thinking about it lately it's all just got crazy and out of hand. It's all right going out with a hot girl and having sex on tap and getting more involved with the "in" crowd and always being talked about but we have absolutely nothing in common. Apart from our parents are rich. But she's spoilt from it and I'm not, so I guess we're not that similar there either.

She didn't sound too happy on the phone, I think she had company so she was trying to put on a happy voice. That's the thing, I wish she would just be straight with me. So now I know she's gonna be pissed off with me, but she's gonna try her hardest to keep her reputation and 'perfect little relationship' intact.

I'm going out with Summer and yet I still feel lonely. It's all right, well, great, going out with someone who's completely gorgeous, but i want to be able to make her laugh without her worrying she's creasing her make up, take her cinema without her putting her five-inch stillettos on, go walking without her moaning she's gonna get wet. All those stupid little things that mean so much in a relationship.

Jeez look at me. Turns out this blog was a pretty good idea after all.

I don't wanna change into a different person. I like being my own person and I don't want Summer to keep trying to change me. I don't think there's a hells chance she's gonna change, and so I think it's time to call it a day.

Labels: JOSH BAKER

THE INSIDER

How does she do it? How does SFS manage to rein all?

And Saturday? What's that all about? Surely she won't break up with Josh when she's got one over on her and Lilly's 'perfect relationship' tug-o-war.

I've got a funny feeling that something big is going to happen at Josh's birthday party on Saturday. But what? Summer's not even meant to be attending.

In the words of SFS, I love it love it love it LOVE IT!

Labels: THE INSIDER

SUMMER FRANCIS-SMITH
MONDAY, 15TH SEPTEMBER 2008
00:59
UNTITLED

Hey, guess what I heard?

It's juicy juicy juicyjuicyjuicy JUICY!
So juicy that I was almost tempted to keep it to myself until I had more on it.But you know me, can't help myself, have to get it out there!

Are you ready?............................................

LILLY JENSON DOESN'T LOVE HER BOYFRIEND ANY MORE

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, oh yes!

I love it. Love it. Love it love it love it LOVE IT!

God I'm so good!

This is fabulous, fabulous news!

How could this have slipped out? Jenson's too clever to talk about anything like this. Which means, that Jamie Spencer feels Lilly's getting a bit cold with him, and has talked to his hottie friends about being scared that she'll break up with him. And of course, every important social circle has a connection to moi!

This couldn't have happened at a better time!
It's time to make some phone calls, and get Jamie Spencer on my side.
Oh yes, I can see it all setting out so nicely for me.
What's the point in kicking Camps again when she's already down?
Getting to Lilly would prove to be so much more satisfying.
Oh, and watch out Josh. Think you can call me with that "we need to talk" shit?
This is SFS we're talking about!
And she always wins.

Labels: SUMMER FRANCIS-SMITH

THE INSIDER

Will she do it or won't she? Will Lilly Jenson follow her heart and become one of Hallam's most sought after singletons, or will she stay with Jamie Spencer to halt any risk to her status and keep Summer's gossiping to a minimum?

It's a close call and a tough decision, and no-one can make it apart from her. Although I'm sure there's one or two people who will try and make it harder for her, or even attempt to take it out of her hands. Josh Baker's 22nd birthday party on Saturday is one of the biggest after all, and everyone... and I mean everyone.... will be there.

Labels: THE INSIDER

LILLY JENSON
SUNDAY, 14TH SEPTEMBER 2008
20:59
"SAD LILLY"

I learn every time I bleed the truth is a
Stranger soul is in danger I gotta let my spirit be free to...
Admit that I'm wrong and then change my mind
Sorry but I have to move on and leave you behind

I can't waste time so give me the moment
I realized nothing's broken
No need to worry bout everything I done
Like every second like it was my last one
Don't look back at a new direction
I loved you once
Needed protection
You're still a part of everything I do
You're on my heart just like a tattoo
Just like a tattoo
I'll always have you

Labels: LILLY JENSON

LAUREN CAMPBELL
SUNDAY, 14TH SEPTEMBER 2008
20:16
UNTITLED

today's been a good day! helped Lil out in the restaurant for a few hours, took my mind off of things, and kept me out of the house. It was nice, especially seeing her going all coy over ed garcia! jesus, he's such a flirt!

onto more serious things, uni is going to be hell. i so don't wanna go, and i don't wanna go to this party on saturday, and i don't ever wanna see summer again even though i know i'm gonna bump into her as soon as we get back to sheffield!

i can't believe what happened on friday! i can't even go into it, ive gone over it thousands of times in my head already! i think jordon thinks im a total freak now............ he's being really nice about everything but i bet he feels sorry for me. and i bet now that summers pointed out my weight, i bet he thinks im fat. im sure hes gonna find someone else at this party that he likes more than me, so theres no point even going is there? his brother didnt even stick up for me so why should i go to his party? jordon said hes a really nice guy, and im sure he is, im sure its all down to summer.

who is a bitch, in case you didnt know!

xoxoxo

Labels: LAUREN CAMPBELL

LILLY JENSON
SUNDAY, 14TH SEPTEMBER 2008
19:12
"LILLY JENSON ON ... WAR"

You'll never believe who came into work today... the one and only Ed Garcia. My god, I've liked him for ages. He's one of those forbidden guys who nice girls shouldn't fall for but always do. He's got short, dark hair and blue eyes, and tanned and got one of those smiles. He'll charm you, pretend he loves you, sleep with you, cheat on you, use you and dump you. But for some reason they're always so irresistable.

We met through Summer when we all made friends in the first year of uni, although when Summer did what she did and we all fell out he took her side, which was expected. He always says hello when he's by himself, but when he's with her he just ignores us like the rest of them. He's clearly a player and sleeps around, and I'm sure I've seen him and Summer exchange a look that spells more than friendship sometimes.

He was in with his family for a birthday, all dapper in a white crisp shirt and black pinstriped trousers. I have a thing for when guys dress up all smart and clean-shaven. Anyway, he was so polite and Camps said he was giving me the eye all day. After they all got up to leave he came over and made small conversation (all the while also eyeing up the waitress next to me) and then dropped the line which I knew should have been coming.

He had obviously been sent by summer, when he said with a wink "When can I take you out on that date then? I heard you had got fed up of Jamie and dumped him... for me maybe?"

I should have known Summer would play things this way. As soon as something flared up between us, any little gossip she heard would be exaggerated and spread around like hot fire. So she obviously used the opportunity of him being there to take a dig at me and let me know that she was going to make everything hell.

Funnily enough, I'm not scared. I'm ready to do this and do it nicely, but if SFS doesn't go along with it then I have plenty of dirt that I can drag up and use to pull her down too.

Labels: LILLY JENSON

LILLY JENSON
SUNDAY, 14TH SEPTEMBER 2008
03:08
"LILLY ON ... LIFE"

Just got home from work, should really go to bed as I've got work again tomorrow morning but I just can't sleep....

I feel a bit sad about going back to Sheffield next week. In a way I can't wait to get there and sort out SJS, but at the same time I'm going to miss everything at home so much. At the start of my first summer of uni Dad and I made a deal that he would continue my allowance as long as I helped out in Mum's restaurant throughout the summer. And to be honest, I'm really going to miss it.

I'm also going to miss my attic bedroom, and I know I'm going to struggle even more this year to fit all of my belongings into that tiny dorm room. I'm going to miss my cats and dogs, and even my sister.

Camps came into work tonight and it seems as though she's had another rough day. We cooked her up some dinner but she didn't touch it, instead opting for the wine and getting rather drunk. I hate not having control of a situation sometimes and I just don't know what I can do to help her. I just wish Summer would fail/drop-out/marry a Prince so that we'd never have to see her face again around uni. Whenever Camps seems to be getting better, that Princess rears her ugly (well, quite beautiful) face and makes it all worse again.

Camps doesn't know if she wants to go on Saturday now. She thinks her dress makes her look fat (size 4, anyone?) and thinks that Jordon doesn't like her any more. And even if he does like her, she's scared of running into Summer, which is bound to happen because of her going out with Jordon's brother. Who's apparently rather lush too, Camps said, even if he is rude (hopefully to be sorted out Saturday)

My parents seemed surprised today when they asked why I hadn't asked Jamie to the party. I didn't really know what to say, apart from that it wasn't my place to bring a guest. They knew it was a pathetic excuse, and I think they know something's up. I know that Dad will be nice about it, he always tells me to follow my heart, and I know if I tell him I don't want to be with Jamie any more (I hate saying those words) then he will know I'm doing the right thing. Mum however is a different story. "Oh but he's perfect" "Future son-in-law" "Very good prospects - his father is a doctor" yadda yadda. It's going to be tough, but I will deal with it when I get to it.

I don't know what to expect from Summer on Saturday night. She'll most probably turn it into her own party. Or even kick us out. She might even start a fight and then blame us for gatecrashing and picking on her at her boyfriend's party. Poor bloke (except the mean part). I wonder what he's like.

So anyway I'm wondering whether to ask Jamie or not. I know though that I don't really want to, I just want to go by myself and get my head sorted without him clinging onto my head all of the time telling me casually that he loves me. But then again if I don't ask him and he finds out that I went without asking him, he'll be upset. I could lie and say it was just a last minute thing, although the brand spanking new expensive dress would give that away.

OH GOD! What if he's been invited? And he knows I'm going, and he's going, and he's waiting for me to ask him?! And then I don't invite him and turn up and he thinks I'm hiding something from him?

Oh God. I hate having a guilty conscience.

Labels: LILLY JENSON

JOSH BAKER
SUNDAY, 14TH SEPTEMBER 2008
00:13
"SUCKS"

Hung out with the guys all day tonight, but felt pretty down. I had to make it up to the guys big time for last night, although they were really sound, I think because they could tell I was so stressed out about the whole thing. You see, I'm starting to feel really resentful towards mine and Summer's relationships. I mean, yeah we've been together for eight months and she tells me it all the time but I've never told her I love her. I don't think I really do or ever have. I asked her out because she was so god damn hot, and I did enjoy being with her, I guess I still do, I'm just so fucked off with all this drama and high maintenence shit.

The guys now think I'm totally under the thumb, and my brother's not talking to me because Summer upset his new girlfriend. I don't know what their beef is with each other but it must have been bad for the poor girl to get so upset. I know Summer's a bitch, but I duno what to do about it. Anyway Jordon made me promise that I wouldn't get in touch with her all day, so I purposely left my phone at home so that I couldn't make contact.

I gotta apologise to his new girl as well for indirectly calling her loopy. It was honestly just because I heard she was a bit crazy, and I didn't know her real name (i still don't) so it just kinda stuck. Jordon's really bummed and doesn't know if she's coming to my party any more, so I gotta apologise asap. I bet she thinks I'm a right dick now and honestly I'm not.

Anyway had a good day with the guys watching Pool finally get one over on those arrogant fuckers, had a few beers and played on the Xbox. Feel a bit better about things now, looking forward to getting all my stuff moved down to the new house on wednesday and then my birthday at the weekend, should be a good one. Dad wants me to pick out a new car for my birthday but I feel a bit guilty, what with him paying so much for these parties. I'm thinking the new golf but... Summer doesn't like it.

Labels: JOSH BAKER