THE GOSSIP
LILLY JENSONSUNDAY, 19TH OCTOBER 200815:30LJ ON ...Me and Josh aren't talking. I stayed over last night because I couldn't get home and this morning was the most awkward thing ever. I can't believe I slapped him last night when he kissed me - I like him so much I wanted him to kiss me and then I slapped him? Such a stupid idiot.
He told me how much he liked me and everything... he said he was crazy about me. But this was two minutes after I saw him with Summer's arms wrapped around his neck. She was whispering in his ear and pressing herself against him and argh I was so upset. But after thinking about it this morning I've realised that he was probably telling the truth and Summer just threw herself on him. It wouldn't surprise me.
But it's too late now because things are ruined between us. The party was so good but after that argument things just changed. Eoghain kissed me, although that's a totally different matter. Will come to it later. Josh went upstairs and I followed him to apologise for slapping him, and we caught Ollie and Rebecca making out in his room. I'm so disappointed in Ollie, I can't believe he would do something like that after everything that's happened between us. And Rebecca's naive but I don't know what made her go for Ollie, he's not even her type and she's never showed an interest in him.
Ollie got really horrible and it turned into a bit of a fight between him and Josh. Ollie even went to hit Josh with me in the way at one point and Josh did well to get me out of the way, even if it did mean throwing me on the floor.
I went downstairs afterwards to find Eoghain but he had gone home so I asked Josh if I could stay over. Things were sooo awkward between us, it was horrible, but I must have fell asleep really quickly, and I woke up really late today and things were even more horrible, Josh was being really cold and I didn't know what to say to him but eventually I apologised to him for the argument we had. And you know what he said? That I shouldn't have listened to anything he said, because he was drunk.
I'm gutted about that, and I don't know why he said it but he did.
I came home and Ollie is here. I don't know what the hell Rebecca's playing at, but I just haven't got the energy to talk to either of them, I don't even want to look at Ollie so I've just come straight into my room.
I'm going to think about things and see what I want from everything. I really want to go home but it's Monday tomorrow and I've got uni work to do. I think I'm going to throw myself into that until things calm down and then try and talk things through with Josh.
Labels: LILLY JENSON
