LILLY JENSON
FRIDAY, 17TH OCTOBER 2008
00:12
LJ ON ... GOOD FRIENDS

Just got in from pound a pint at the pub tonight, and I'm all smiles, I've had such a great day!! Coffee with Eoghain was great, it's really nice to have someone neutral to talk to who won't take sides and won't judge me. We just sat and talked for ages, me telling me everything that's happened and then him telling me about coming over from Ireland to study. Oh my God, he is oh-so-cute! He really is. I am really attracted to him but there's so many things going through my head that I can't really concentrate on another guy right now. I've not long been single from Jamie, and then what with everything that happened with Josh...

I didn't exactly tell Eoghain about me and Josh, because I didn't want things to be awkward when we all hung out together. I just said that we were friends, and mainly talked about Jamie and Summer.

I spotted Lauren whilst we were having coffee and her Josh and Jordon came over for a little while to chat. Josh looked really shy and I got butterflies in my stomach when I looked at him. He's completely gorgeous, and he really doesn't know it. I love that about him.

I tried so hard not to make things seem awkward between us, and I think I pulled it off pretty well. But when we went to the pub later on they joined us again and things seemed a bit quiet from Josh's end. It may have been because I was talking to Eoghain a lot, Josh may have felt pushed out. I was trying my hardest to involve him in the conversation, but he didn't really seem interested. I got him alone by the bar and asked him if everything was okay, and he said he was fine, just in a bit of pain with his ribs. I knew he was lying and found the situation between us really awkward, so I stayed at the bar with him for a bit and when we went to sit back down I let Camps shuffle over next to Eoghain and I sat next to Josh. We made small talk for a while, and Josh perked up a little bit. Our gaze held a bit longer than it should have a few times, and I could feel myself blushing but tried to get away with it.

Argh I don't know what to do. I like Josh so much. It's just so hard knowing what he did with Summer. If only he had told her where to shove it, honestly everything could have been working out so great for us right now. I'm really gutted about it, and I knew Camps could tell because she kept looking over.

Josh asked me if I was coming to the party on Saturday and I said I didn't know. He said he'd really like it if I was there, and maybe we could catch up because we haven't seen each other a lot. I'd like that, but I wouldn't want to put a dampener on his night.

Argh. Really don't know what to do.

Camps went straight off to Josh's house with Jordon and Eoghain only lives down the road from them, so Josh walked me home. We walked arm in arm... it was nice. When we got to my door I tried to act as normal as possible but I was really dying to kiss him. I think he was thinking the same, I could tell with the way he was looking at me. But after a bit of small talk I leant up and kissed his cheek and went straight inside, to save us any awkwardness.

I just got a text from him saying night, and want to text back but argh.
Argharghargh.

Labels: LILLY JENSON