THE GOSSIP
LILLY JENSONSUNDAY, 12TH OCTOBER 200819:09LJ ON ...Josh's Mum threw the perfect party. I loved it. In the end I decided to wear hardly any make up and just have my hair straight, to tone down the dress a little bit. And it seemed to work; Josh couldn't keep his eyes off of me. There were scores of girls there, and I was the only one he looked at.
Which is why I'm so stupid for cooling things off and telling him that we can't get back to how we were. I feel awful; the look on his face made me feel even more awful, and I felt even even more awful because I knew the effort he was going to to try and make things better. But I just can't do it - I look at him and after five seconds of smiling to myself and thinking 'that gorgeous guy can be mine' i suddenly stop and think 'no, he's Summer's, and he's always going to be.' Every time she wants him, she may be able to have him, and I can't live with that.
Everything was so perfect as well. Josh looked uber delish in a white shirt and dark jeans, with his trademark converse on. I liked the way he looked at me; I liked the way his hand fell naturally on the bottom of my back as he introduced me to everyone as 'Lilly', and I love the way he went to the effort to introduce me. I love the way I caught him grinning at his Mum when he thought I wasn't looking, and I loved the way he pulled me onto his lap when we were sat in the corner by ourselves, laced his fingers through mine and openly started a kissing session in front of anyone who was looking. I loved the way he hobbled around trying to look macho. And most of all I loved the taste of his kiss, and his squidgy lips, and how they felt on mine.
This is stupid.
But I just can't do it.
Labels: LILLY JENSON
