LILLY JENSON
WEDNESDAY, 22ND OCTOBER 2008
13:00
LJ ON ... BEST FRIENDS
Camps found jama-gate absolutely hilarious this morning and wouldn't stop talking about it for ages. She actually really cheered me up, I love it when she makes fun of me she's so funny. And it's really nice to see her happy too. Jordon stayed over last night and they looked so cute together in the kitchen this morning. He's like 4 years older than her but they really suit each other - it's really funny because he's mental just like her, although Josh is much more chilled out. I kind of wish he had knocked on the door last night but after the argument we had I guess he didn't feel confident enough.
I've just got back from lectures and apparently Summer hasn't been seen out and about for a few days now. Not that I've noticed, but looking back on it I guess I haven't heard anything from her which is quite strange. Maybe she's gone home because she's broken a nail, or something...
I'm feeling really homesick again and might go home for the weekend to sort myself out. The only thing that's stopping me is that I know Mum's going to think I've lost a lot of weight and she's going to start going on about me not eating again. It's a bit of a private issue that hasn't got any further than my family - we've all been so concerned over the past few years about Camps that we never mention anything about it - but I can feel myself not eating too. And it's not good, I know, but I just can't help myself. I like to be in control of one thing in my life and seems as everything else is spiralling out, food is the one thing I can focus on and keep under control. I just like being skinny; that's the way it goes. I know I'm tall and naturally thin yadda yadda but Mum's going to notice and - like I'm 5 again - tell me off.
We need to start thinking of how to celebrate Halloween next week, I'm not sure where to go or who to invite but I guess it'll be nice if we all get together and can do something without anything kicking off again. I might even throw a party at home, just to get away from Hallam for a bit.
I've had a couple of text messages from Eoghain this morning asking if I wanted to go for coffee and I'm really tempted, and I feel guilty for letting him down, but my head's just not in the right place. Maybe some other time.
Labels: LILLY JENSON
