LILLY JENSON
SATURDAY, 25TH OCTOBER 2008
10:52
UNTITLED
Everything isn't okay. Josh's Mum is very, very ill, and has been for some time. I didn't know anything about it, and right now I daren't ask, but I'm so glad that I decided to drive over to Cambridge.
Josh was in an awful state when I arrived. I got there just as the doctor told them that their Mum's cancer has returned. It was the most heartbreaking news for me, I can't even imagine how it felt for Josh and Jordon. Josh spaced out and would have collapsed if he hadn't been helped onto a chair. I sat with him and tried to console him the best I could but he didn't cry; he was in shock and just stared into space, his head bowed and eyes empty.
I've never seen him like that before and I'm so worried about him. He was spaced out for the rest of night, in shock, not talking and not answering to anything; I don't even think he knew I was there.
Eventually we persuaded him to leave the hospital and I drove him home. Their Dad had arrived and he and Jordon stayed there but Josh wasn't in the right frame of mind to stay. I drove us back with directions from Jordon and tried to get Josh to get some rest but he didn't listen to me; he went onto his computer and mumbled that he wasn't tired.
I must have fallen asleep about 5am, I woke up at 9am and Josh was finally asleep next to me, his hair in his eyes and his face all pale and tired. I feel awful for him, I really do. Jordon came home this morning to collect some things for his Mum; he said she's in theatre and that's the only update that they have. I know Josh might be mad that I haven't woken him but after last night I think he needs some more rest.
Mikey is staying with their Grandparents for a couple of days, to make sure he doesn't get distressed. He was really excited about seeing me this morning and didn't really understand what was going on - it's heartbreaking.
I'm really tired so I might lay down with Josh for a couple of hours and get some rest. I feel so awful for him.
Labels: LILLY JENSON
